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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of 10 years, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest helping her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, altered, or posted for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I want my friend to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I admire people on social platforms who execute that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the details, posting them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of offering access, providing her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not leverage, it's simply being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the content we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not all people likes being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private videographer, but companions help each other in minor capacities. I thought recording a clip here or there would be fun for her. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion film you. I understand that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is willing material. She needs to respect her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some real experiences, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?